My name is Emuna Wendy. I started writing songs when I was 8 years old.
My mother raised me to love the Lord and I had a very childlike faith. I used to write songs from a place of innocence and an expression of how much I loved the Lord and how close I felt to Him.
If someone threw a melody or a beat at me, I was always able to come up with lyrics and rhymes for it. It flowed out of me like water and I was known by my friends and family as “the girl who wrote songs.”
And then over the years, things happened. People would make discouraging comments—even unintentionally. These comments about how simple-minded and simplistic my songs were sowed seeds of doubt in my heart and slowly I began to believe that writing music wasn’t for me.
I lost confidence in everything that had to do with music. I had more confidence in my ability to clean a house than to write music. And with that loss of faith, suddenly I wasn’t able to write anymore.
I joined in on the vision of Beresheet early on when it was just getting started. My brothers, David and Desu, of course knew about my childhood love for worship and asked me to lead worship for the services. I actually laughed when they asked me because it had been so long since I had seen myself functioning in that capacity, I felt no connection with musical instruments or singing.
But they were super encouraging that this was my gifting. I remember the first time I started playing chords and opened my mouth to sing to Him it was like it wasn’t me singing—it was Him singing and flowing through me.
It was an incredible experience for me to suddenly find my place as a worship leader. But still, I felt something holding me back. It was a feeling of unworthiness—like I sinned too much, made too many mistakes and wasn’t good enough for this position.
We’ve had several times of extended corporate fasting and praying where everyone joins in and gives up food or media or something of worth to them in an effort to grow closer to the Lord and to each other. Then we get up early—like 5 or 6 am—to read scripture and pray together on zoom or in a meeting place. Each time the Lord addressed something in me that would peel off a layer of what was blocking me from being closer to Him and being able to be who I needed to be for Him.
And it was from this place of feeling everyone else was more worthy than me to worship—let alone lead worship—that the Lord spoke to me, “You won’t tell Me who I can and can’t use and I’ve chosen you to glorify My name. I don’t need you to keep trying to fake-it-till-you-make-it. Be open about your brokenness and then you will both be healed and experience power from that broken place.”
It was during one of those fasts that I was sitting and playing the piano and the reality of everything Yeshua did for me hit me so intensely. I owe Him everything and yet He is the one who came down from heaven and gave His life for mine—how overwhelming is His grace!
I started looking over all the members in the congregation in my mind, knowing where they came from and knowing where I could’ve been today without God’s intervention and thought, “Where would all of us be, if not for You?”
The lyrics spilled out of my simple thoughts. “God, I’ve seen what You’ve done in my life, who can tell me You aren’t alive? I’m so full of gratitude!”
The words were so simple, the concept so basic—and I even used street slang which isn’t usually accepted in Hebrew songs, let alone worship songs. But the song struck a deep chord with everyone who heard it in the congregation. In the end, it was the simplicity of how I could relay this truth that everyone could relate to. I never dreamed the song would reach so many nations is so many languages - and in the Hebrew version too!